Today might just be the day, Julianites! You might as well stick a giant red bow on the Magistrates’ court because our Christmas present is inside and we’ve been VERY good this year.
In any case, Julian is sure to abscond his mansion arrest and join us at JAIG HQ when he finds out our internet is faster than Vaughan Smith’s.
It’s going to be a very leaky Christmas.
Oh and Volvos. We hate Volvos too.
It’s another day of sitting on tinderhooks here at JAIG HQ which, as you all might imagine, is a very painful experience.
OUTRAGE! Our Assange Stalkers are temporarily standing down due to a problem called SWEDEN. For the time being, we’re shifting our efforts to helping you hate all things Swedish. Just refer to the following list of things and people which should be shunned by all Julianites:
- Crayfish parties
- All ungodly forms of herring
- The soul-crushingly existentialist ouvre of Ingmar Bergman
In other words, nothing you’ll really miss.
NOTICE: JAIG’s SSS unit (special stalking staff) is standing by for redeployment into the field pending Julian’s release. We’ll be posting our finest to several stations across London and to within the vicinity of Ellingham Hall.
In case you lot haven’t noticed, Julian’s photogenesis is apparent even through the darkened windows of a police van.
Meanwhile, the JAIG staff are frantically scrambling to find 20 grand of surety money to ensure that Julian is bailed to the safety of our headquarters.
Not only has Julian devoted his life to exposing the corrupt cogs of soulless governmental machinery, but he also takes the time to show this gentleman how to use a computer.
Note the long elegant hands and the well-formed wrists, Julianites.
Well, things have quieted down a bit in the news on the Julian front, but here at JAIG we aim to keep the flame of Mr. Assange’s handsomely fought struggle alive. For this evening’s reflection and meditation we offer you the bright beacon of his smiling visage.
We bask in the pearly glow of his chevelure.
Grrr, hiss, claw, spit!
Remove yourself from His presence, you smirking, photo-bombing floosie!
“But soft, what light through yonder prison window breaks?
It is the east, and Julian is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than he.”
We think that what Shakespeare is trying to say here is that Julian haters are gonna hate.
Oh my gosh, we’re being overrun with followers! We appreciate the support but we hope you are all aware that we’re keeping the best Julian-snaps for our bedroom walls and handing the scraps over to you lot - just enough to sustain you.
But since it’s Sunday, we’ve had a democratic vote, and we are reluctantly agreed to surrender the above photograph to the masses. We call it “Etude in White No. 1” as there’s something Whistler-esque about it.
It’s a bit of a missed opportunity on the photographer’s part, don’t you think? If we’d had the choice to make any part of Julian transparent, we’d go for the pants.
Truth should stand naked.